Picture this: You’ve met the perfect match and you’re madly in love. Both of you get along really well and could talk for hours and never get bored. Does that mean you’re meant to be? Not exactly. Relationship experts say that money, values, and life goals influence whether you are truly compatible or not.
In order to have a healthy relationship with a good foundation for lasting long-term, you need good communication, attraction, and a whole lot more. Check this list and see if your partner checks off all the boxes:
1. Both of You Have Your Own Interests and Hobbies
One of the hallmarks of a meant-to-be couple is how much they love to be together and love to be apart. Having interests outside your relationship not only allows you to bring something new to the partnership, but also gives you a healthy independence.
There’s a wise quote from Osho that goes: «If you love a flower, don’t pick it up. Because if you pick it up it dies and ceases to be what you love. So if you love a flower, let it be. Love is not about possession. Love is about appreciation.»
2. You Fight and Work it Out
While abuse is never part of a healthy relationship, disagreement is. You will never agree with your partner on everything, but what’s important is your openness to listening, understanding, and forgiving. Many married couples will tell you that the most important phrase in a partnership is «I’m sorry.»
3. You’re Comfortable Sitting with Them in Silence
You know that awkward feeling that you have to fill the silence? That shouldn’t be a thing in your relationship. Silence should enrich your relationship and allow you to take a break from coming up with the «right thing to say.» If you’re truly compatible, both of you should naturally slip into silence and enjoy it just as much as when you’re talking.
4. You Laugh at the Same Jokes
True friends are made through great experiences and a sense of humor, and your partner needs to be your best friend. You’ll connect better with him or her long-term if you don’t take yourself too seriously and find things to laugh about together.
5. You Can Be Yourself Around Them
Being silly and vulnerable is part of being human. You and your other half should accept each other’s quirks and not make one another feel ashamed for weak moments. Also, you should never feel like you have to «put on a mask» or become someone different so they will like you.
6. You Know How to Work as a Team
Differences can be a good thing, and if you and your partner work those to your advantage, you can build a solid team to weather the storm. You know how to work hard, but at the same time, the ways you get along and help each other out should seem natural and effortless.
7. You Encourage Each Other
A person who loves you will want the best for you, and that’s even more true for a partnership. By becoming a couple, you choose to share success and failure. There will be times when one of you is going through a rough time and needs a boost. If your partner is right for you, they’ll help you to reach your goals and get through sad times.
8. Your Friends Like Him/Her
There’s nothing more annoying than a friend who complains about your significant other, but pay attention. Your mom, brother, or best friend may be in a better position to objectively see relationship deal-breakers. They want you to be happy, and if they say things like «he’s good for you» or «you two are cute together,» it’s a good sign. If you hear «this girl seems like bad news,» steer clear.
9. You Can’t See a Future Without Them
Your dreams of having a big wedding are not necessarily a bad thing, but you need to think beyond that. The real partnership comes after the wedding, and you should be able to picture what your life will look like with this person. Do you want to raise kids with them and grow old together?
10. They Make You Want to Be a Better Person
The right person for you will not only love you for who you are, but make you want to move forward and grow as a person. Not only will you want to improve, but that special person will make you the best version of yourself every single day — and doing it just by being who they are.
11. You Have Good Chemistry
It isn’t enough just to like someone. You need to get along well, enjoy spending time together, and find them attractive. There should be a «spark» between the two of you — something about them makes you If you catch yourself talking to your partner until the early hours of the morning without noticing time pass, they could be the one.
12. You Don’t Have Major Disagreements About Money
Finances often make or break a relationship. According to a study from Family Relations, differing opinions about money were far more likely to lead to divorce than any other disagreement.
If you think about it, it makes perfect sense. The way you spend your money says a lot about you and how you like to live your life. If your partner doesn’t think you should spend money on clothes when fashion is your hobby, it might not work out.
13. You Have the Same Values
Religion, politics, and morals are Psychologist and relationship therapist Megan Fleming said: “When the going gets tough, like it does in all relationships, knowing that you share the same core values makes difficult decisions easier because you both have the same inner compass. Core values are the foundation of a strong relationship.”
14. You Both Work Hard
I read somewhere once that a relationship is built to last if both people are hard working. After all, love doesn’t always come easy. A study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology discovered that «the couples willing to make sacrifices within their relationships were better able to solve their problems and significantly more likely to have lasting and satisfied marriages.»
15. You Want the Same Things in Life
Is your partner interested in moving to Europe and pursuing a career there? Do they want kids? Do they want to get married one day? All of these things are important life goals that need to align with yours, regardless of how much you love each other. True compatibility lies in compromise, but don’t compromise the big things in life.