Just casually watching your pet lick their own asshole in your personal space.
1. Trying to hold hands with your cat even though they never really like it.
You just can’t resist their soft paddy paws.
2. Regularly stepping on cat litter while trying to go to the loo in the middle of the night.
You swear your cat is actively trying to make the whole house into a litter tray.
3. Holding on to your pee for an uncomfortably long time because you couldn’t possibly disturb your cat.
You have been blessed, and you must not disrespect a cat blessing.
4. Sharing your human food with your cat, and sometimes having to properly defend your meal from sneaky paws.
“I need the loo. Can you make sure Fluff Face doesn’t eat my dinner?”
5. Talking in a weird, high-pitched voice you only ever use for your cat.
Because if you used it on humans you wouldn’t have any friends.
6. Never calling your cat the name you actually chose for them.
Just a series of elaborate and adorable nicknames.
7. Holding your cat up to the mirror and trying to get them to recognise themselves.
This never works.
8. Putting up with being violently attacked on a regular basis.
And convincing yourself that this is a sign of love, or that they definitely did it by mistake.
9. Compromising your sleeping position so as to not disturb your cat who sleeps for 18 hours a day anyway.
If you upset your cat it feels like they may decide to never show you any affection ever again.
10. Being mildly amused when you and your cat go to the toilet at the same time.
And apologising to your cat for disturbing their privacy.
11. Spending hours of your life standing in open doorways trying to reason with your cat to make a decision.
Cats just love a threshold.
12. Loving a very annoying, extremely destructive, snooty ball of fluff more than most humans.
