On February 7, Ruth Scully said goodbye to her 4-year-old son, Nolan.
Ruth also created a Facebook page, Nolan Strong, dedicated to her son, where she had written heart-wrenching tribute.
Ruth remembers the day when she and her son knew everything was coming to an end.
When I brought Nolan to the hospital for the last time, I knew there was something else wrong other than just a lingering case of C. Diff (a bacterium that can infect the bowel and cause diarrhea). I just knew, and strange enough, I think he did too. He hadn’t eaten or drank anything in days and was continually vomiting.
On February 1, she went to see Nolan’s team.
When his Oncologist spoke, I saw the pure pain in her eyes. She had always been honest with us and fought along side of us the whole time, but his updated CT scan showed large tumors that grew compressing his bronchial tubes and heart within four weeks of his open chest surgery.
The cancer was spreading too fast and it became resistant to the treatment.
No parents are prepared to hear such news and explain those heartbreaking things to a little child. However, the mother managed to talk to her son, she remembers that conversation by heart.
He was sitting in ‘Mommy’s Red Chair’ watching YouTube on his tablet. I sat down with him and put my head up against his and had the following conversation:
Me: Poot, it hurts to breathe doesn’t it
Nolan: Well…yeah.
Me: You’re in a lot of pain aren’t you, baby?
Nolan: (looking down) Yeah.
Me: Poot, this cancer stuff sucks. You don’t have to fight anymore.
Nolan: (Pure Happiness) I DON’T?! But I will for you Mommy!!
Me: No Poot! Is that what you have been doing? Fighting for Mommy?Nolan: Well DUH!!
Me: Nolan Ray, what is Mommy’s job?
Nolan: To keep me SAFE! (With a big grin)
Me: Honey…I can’t do that anymore here. The only way I can keep you safe is in Heaven. (My heart shattering)
Nolan: So, I’ll just go to Heaven and play until you get there! You’ll come, right?
Me: Absolutely!! You can’t get rid of Mommy that easy!!
Nolan: Thank you, Mommy! I’ll go play with Hunter and Brylee and Henry!
Nolan was mostly sleeping the next following days. And another horrifying task needed to be done…
…signing Do Not Resuscitate order.
I cannot explain to you what signing this order for your angelic son feels like.
When he woke up we had the van packed and I had his shoes in my hand to take him home for the evening. We just wanted ONE more night together. But as he woke, he gently put his hand on mine and said ‘Mommy, it’s ok. Let’s just stay here ok?
My four-year-old hero was trying to make sure things were easy for me…
So in between sleeping for the next 36 hours, we played, watched YouTube, shot Nerf Gun after Nerf Gun and smiled as many times as we could.
An hour or so before he passed he even filled out a will! We lay in bed together and he sketched out how he wanted his funeral, picked his pallbearers, what he wanted people to wear, wrote down what he was leaving each of us, and even wrote down what he wanted to be remembered as — which of course was a Policeman
At 9 pm, the mother had the last conversation with her dear boy.
I asked Nolan if I could get in the shower, as I was not allowed to leave him and Mommy had to be touching him at all times.
He said ‘Umm, OK Mommy. Have Uncle Chris come sit with me and I’ll turn this way so I can see you.’
I stood at the bathroom door, turned to him and said ‘Keep looking right here, Poot, I’ll be out in two seconds.’
He smiled at me. I shut the bathroom door.
They said the moment the bathroom door clicked he shut his eyes and went into a deep sleep, beginning the end of life passing.
When I opened the bathroom door, his team was surrounding his bed and every head turned and looked at me with tears in their eyes. They said ‘Ruth, he’s in a deep sleep. He can’t feel anything’. His respiration was extremely labored, his right lung had collapsed and his oxygen dropped.
I ran and jumped into bed with him and put my hand on the right side of his face.
Then a miracle I will never forget happened.My angel took a breath, opened his eyes, smiled at me and said ‘I love you mommy’, turned his head towards me and at 11:54 pm Sgt. Rollin Nolan Scully passed away as I was singing ‘You are My Sunshine’ in his ear.
He woke up out of a coma to say he loved me with a smile on his face!
My son died a hero. He brought communities together, different occupations, made a difference in people’s lives all around the world. He was a warrior who died with dignity and love to the last second.
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