Life hacks are awesome. Handy short cuts that let you get the boring stuff done quicker and easier, giving you more time to get on with the more important stuff, like playing with your dog or saving the world.
These life hacks however, are not that. These are parody life hacks, life hacks so creatively useless that the only thing they are good for is making you giggle uncontrollably. Which I guess is an end unto itself right? This is the sequel to our previous pro-tip list, which proved wildly popular!
Scroll down the list below and marvel at the absurdity of it all, but whatever you do don’t take any of this terrible advice on board, as some of them are actually pretty dangerous. Do vote for your favourite though!
#1 Don’t Throw Out Old Doll Heads. You Can Turn Them Into Handy Night Lights For Your Kids
#2 Tired Of Boiling Water Every Time You Make Pasta? Boil A Few Gallons At The Beginning Of The Week And Freeze It For Later
#3 Non-Smoker Hack
#4 Eggs Are Really Healthy And Should Be The Foundation Of Your Diet. Don’t Like The Taste? Add Cacao, Butter, Flour And Bake For 30 Minutes
#5 If You Sleep Till Noon You Only Have To Pay For 2 Meals Instead Of 3
#6 Batteries Dead In Your Smoke Alarm? Just Use Popcorn As A Smoke Alarm. When You Hear Crackling, Grab Your Popcorn And Get The Hell Out
#7 If It Works It Isn’t Stupid
#8 Use A Snake To Hold Your Pasta Easily
#9 If Your Car Is Making An Unsettling Noise, Just Turn Your Radio Up Until It Disappears
#10 When Cutting Bagels In Half, Put Your Finger Through The Stabilization Hole To Keep It Steady
#11 Fill Your Arms With Puppies So No One Can Ask You For Help
#12 Pro Tip: If You Stir Coconut Oil Into Your Kale It Makes It Easier To Scrape Into The Trash
#13 Having A Shitty Day? Put On Sunglasses! Now You’re Having A Shitty Evening
#14 Fill A Rubber Glove With Warm Water And Put It On Your Hand When You Feel Lonely
#16 Want To Get Rid Of Wrinkles Fast? Just Get Bit By A Rattlesnake
#17 Want To Turn Your Drink Into Diet? No Problem! Just Push This Button
#18 Add A Touch Of Magic To Your Cold By Putting Glitter In Your Mouth Before You Sneeze
#19 If Your Phone Screen Is Too Small, Put It In Water. It Will Magnify The Screen Up To 200%
#20 Use This Tip To Save Your Money
#21 Sink Full Of Dirty Dishes? Visitors Imminent? Put Some Clean Dishes In The Dishrack. Now It Looks Like You’re Working On It
#22 Don’t Be Afraid To Use Public Bathrooms Ever Again
#23 A Slice Of Red Onion In Your Dvd Drive Is An All-Natural Way Of Protecting Your Computer Against Viruses
#24 To Maximize Horsepower On The Highway Shift From 5th Gear To «R» For Racing
#25 If You Put Your Wipers Up Parking Inspectors Are Unable To Give You A Ticket
#26 Retread Tires Easily With A Sharpie
#27 Use Cello Tape As Hands Free Selfie Stick
#28 Dress For The Weight You Want, Not The Weight You Have
#29 Having Trouble Finding A Parking Spot? Turn On Your Hazard Lights To Make Yourself Immune To Traffic Laws, Then Park Wherever You Want
#30 Don’t Have A Flashlight On Your Phone? Take A Picture Of The Sun And Use The Photo To Find Your Way In The Dark
